It’s especially relevant to reframing the situation. “I’m so sorry” is showing sympathy and compassion, yes, but it still frames the person as the passive victim. “Congratulations” is important because it reframes the situation to be about the person’s agency and celebrates their choice to get out. We should have parties when a person gets out, not pity.
so last semester, my new roommate, without consulting anyone else, put up these stupid wall stickers. and I had to live with em alllll year.
ALT
ALT
(ignore the tapestry, that’s mine)
so, end of the school year starts coming up, we’re gonna have to take the damn things down anyway. so I decide to have some fun with it.
on sunday, while roomie was away at work, I took the stickers off the wall and started cutting up the letters. and this was what she found when she came home.
this was just above the couch, the first thing you’d see upon walking in the door. and my favorite of all, in the corner where the couch met the wall:
the next day, while I was in class, she came home and saw it. and promptly began acting like I did not exist.
It was the greatest week I’d had since moving in.
but only a week. one day, I texted our collective roommate group chat that I was taking an online test, and that I’d need quiet for about 2 hours or so. and when I finished, I left my room to find bare walls where my art once was, and a ball of letters in the trash can.
so I fished it out. and left this.
but I wasn’t done quite yet. I fished out a couple favorites and put them back up in my room (partly bc I had gotten a bit attached to nut,)
now, you might notice that “tit” has lost its “s”. that s now serves a greater purpose:
forming the word “penis” that I hid on the wall behind the couch before I moved out.
suffice to say, that roommate hasn’t talked to me since.
I’m sorry but it’s literally impossible to ignore the tapestry
Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.
I know there is a lot of discourse ™ around this right now but listen to me
sometimes you do just have to lie to children.
If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”
If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.
So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”
Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.
See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.
you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.
You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter
The chili plant made a deal with their God to only be consumed by things that could spread its seeds and fly. The chili received capsaicin, making itself painful to eat for mammals, but not birds, and all was well for the chili.
Then the human shows up, tastes it, and likes the pain. So now there’s this flightless fucking mammal eating the chili. Like not even a fruit bat or anything, a flightless fucking mammal chomping on the chili.
What the fucking shit, God, cried the chili, I specifically requested the opposite of this.
Now hold on, wait a moment, replied the God who talks to plants but has no idea what the fuck these apes are going to do next. It might be something cool.
And in a flash of a second, in barely fraction of the time that chili took to develop capsaicin, the humans went from walking across land bridges and rowing little boats across small waters, into building ships that could cross oceans. More humans tasted the chili, and liked the pain. They took the seeds with them, and planted it elsewhere.
See? They spread the seeds.
They’re still not flying, said the chili, still feeling insulted and betrayed.
But before the conversation was over, the humans were still not done fucking around and nowhere close to finding out. The ships became machines, and another machine was invented, capable of flight. Now, not only were the humans farming chili on continents far too far away for any of the birds that originally ate it could dream of flying, but the chili flew with them to lands where it could possibly not grow, so that humans over there could also eat it and enjoy the pain.
You see? They spread your seeds and fly.
It doesn’t count as keeping a promise if you only manage it by a fucking accident, said the chili, still somewhat insulted. But nonetheless, the chili thrived.
Whenever I take a long car ride I end up exhausted afterwards, and I’m always like “why am I so tired? I was just sitting around doing nothing all day.”
But the answer, it turns out, is I was doing something. Riding in a car jars your body in many directions and requires constant microadjustments of your muscles just to stay in place and hold your normal posture. Because you’re inside the car, inside the situation, it’s easy not to notice all the extra work you’re doing just to maintain the status quo.
There’s all sorts of work that we think of as “free” that require spending energy: concentrating, making decisions, managing anxiety, maintaining hypervigilance in an unfriendly environment, dealing with stereotype threat, processing a lot of sensory input, repairing skin cells damaged by sun exposure, trying to stay warm in a cold room.
The next time you think you’re tired from “nothing”, consider instead that you’re probably in situation where you’re doing a lot of unnoticed extra work just to stay in place.
tumblr’s code may change but no notes ghost stays the same
Oh thank god
imagine the shit storm when tumblr finally becomes so dysfunctional that this post’s total notes is finally revealed
In case anyone’s curious about what happened to this post, it has to do with how we tally up notes. Likes and reblogs always add to the note count of the root post (the OP). However, the note count relies on the previous value of the root post before adding more notes to it.
Normally when you delete a post, it’s gone, but not gone gone. Just deleted from public never to be seen again. The database entry is still there, just inaccessible.
This post, however, the root post is just gone. Gone gone. Gone forever. Everything attached to it is still there, but since the root post is hard deleted, it’s got nothing to add to. When the note counter tries to add notes to nothing, it goes nowhere.
So it throws every new note into the void. Goodbye forever, notes.
I’m not sure if we’ll ever know the real number of notes on this post.
ALT
ALT
